Its dead easy. You don't have to phone a friend or ask the audience, just suck up to Nigel at all times. To parody Nelson's advice, no waanabee UKIP millionaire (MEP) can go far wrong if he sucks up to Nigel and repeats and supports the Fuhrer spiel. This ensures your place on the UKIP MEP slate and a guaranteed 1 million pounds over 5 years from the EU!
Look at how this simple recipe worked for Legge, Agnew, Bannerman, Bloom, Nuttall and Clarke. Look at what happened to those who forgot this simple rule, Nikki, Natrass, Andreasen. Consigned to the outer darkness and cut off from the lovely EU lolly.
No talent? No problem! Lacking in intelligence? Not a handicap as Napoleon pointed out and as several current UKIP MEPs prove. Don't want to leave the EU? Not important! Just do what the Fuhrer orders and enjoy the EU benefits. Old Tory? No problem. Marched through quiet Sussex villages late at night chanting Nazi slogans and singing the Horst Wessel song. Just youthful high spirits. Perfectly excusable.
Have principles? Seek another career. Have moral problems about associating with mid European neo Nazis? Seek another career. You are obviously not cut out to be a UKIP millionaire. Leave it to those with flexible moral postions and a real love of money!